True North: Running Route Planning for Neurotics
My German friend Patrick wants to do the Los Angeles Marathon this year on the 21st of March. Unfortunately, the race has been rescheduled to a more vaccine-optimistic TBD date in the fall. They also changed the route, removing t
Continue Reading | Add CommentThe Stupid Call to Adventure
Last Monday, I awoke to rain outside my window and a voice inside my head. Both beckoned me to do something stupid that day. They didn’t care what I did, as long as it left a mark. Fatigue suggested otherwise, so I shuffled to t
Continue Reading | Add CommentThe Fine Art of Getting Whacked in the Nuts
It’s safe to say that 2020 has been a collective kick to the gonads for the majority of the human race. But if you’re reading this, here’s a crappy little silver lining for you: You’re not dead. Don’t get me wrong; I’m
Continue Reading | Add CommentLife is like a bag of dicks
I’m a partial jerk. Not a complete jerk, since complete jerks tend to be too narcissistic to know they’re jerks, but definitely part of one—perhaps about 57% jerk. To the few readers who don’t already know this, I present
Continue Reading | Add CommentIs It Safe? Five Steps for Running a Marathon, Man
With this in mind, I think you can do it too. Here are five steps to make it happen. Step One: Pick an event. There are scores of marathons in the US every year. Pick one that moves you. Maybe it’s an iconic event like the New Y
Continue Reading | Add CommentLove Between Cups of Coffee
Much like relationships and COVID-19, cleaning a fancy road bike is complicated. Sure, your childhood BMX probably just needed the occasional hosing (although leaving it out in the rain proved equally effective), but the modern ra
Continue Reading | Add CommentShe’s Going Down!
COVID-19 played only a minor role in my new running habit. The real catalyst was my dysfunctional competition complex. When I train with others, my outsized desire to crush everyone in my vicinity is matched only by my limited abi
Continue Reading | Add CommentWhy Do Gravel Grinders Give You Gut Gravy?
If you’re an endurance idiot like me, odds are that you’ve done a long, pointless, awful event (or maybe several dozen of them) and ended the day with little more than an ill-fitting finisher’s t-shirt, a weird s
Continue Reading | Add CommentImmunonutrition: Eating to Avoid Illness as an Endurance Athlete
Since exercise is supposed to make us healthy and stuff, you’d think endurance athletes, who spend countless hours running, cycling, paddling, swimming, or (insert action verb here)-ing would be the healthiest kids on the bloc
Continue Reading | Add CommentThe No Carbs After 6pm Rule! Now Featuring Science!
When it comes to nutrition, I tends to side with science—or at least common sense and strong anecdotal evidence. Usually, this serves me well, but sometimes, I end up looking like a dork when cutting-edge clinical research acci
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