Puttin’ in the Ritz, eh?

by Denis Faye | November 20, 2013

Showing that America isn’t alone in its rampant nutritional stupidity, a Canadian mom violating Manitoba Government’s Early Learning and Child Care lunch regulations was fined $10 for not including a serving of grains in her children’s lunches.

And here’s the best part. To make up for this obvious nutritional deficiency, the brown bag bureaucrat who caught the problem added saturated-fatastic Ritz Crackers to the offending lunch. From the Weighty Matters blog:

She sent her children to daycare with with lunches containing leftover homemade roast beef and potatoes, carrots, an orange and some milk. She did not send along any “grains”. 

As Kristen writes, had she sent along lunches consisting of, “microwave Kraft Dinner and a hot dog, a package of fruit twists, a Cheestring, and a juice box” those lunches would have sailed right through this idiocy. But her whole food, homemade lunches? They lacked Ritz Crackers.

Frankly, I commend the action. By requiring these foods in every Canuck kid’s meal–1 milk, 1 meat, 1 grain, 2 fruits/veggies–they alienate vegans, vegetarians, and paleos, not to mention people with lactose issues and gluten intolerances–a bunch of namby pamby sissies. Weed ’em out, I say! My only criticism of this rule is that they left out “1 beer” and they should specify back bacon in the meat group.

Of course, I jest. I’m sure the fine was a one-off bad choice by some government hoser in a drunken stupor, as seems to be the trend in Canada as of late.

Either way, if you Canadian readers don’t like your government pulling shenanigans like this, come down south. We’ll let your kids eat any old shit you want. Sure, we’ll still ply them with additional crappy grains like Goldfish and graham crackers, but we’ll just take it out of your taxes instead of charging you up front.

4 thoughts on “Puttin’ in the Ritz, eh?

  1. T Hartford

    hey denis love the site. i’m looking at getting a juicer around the holidays. Is there any one that you recommend, or anything (features, brands, etc) that you recommend i avoid?


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